Murray: "Is it hot, or am I wearing a blend I shouldn't be?"
Dave: "That's not a blend."
Murray: "It's a blend of polyester and... other polyester."
Murray: "Is it hot, or am I wearing a blend I shouldn't be?"
Dave: "That's not a blend."
Murray: "It's a blend of polyester and... other polyester."
-- 8/13/99 South Street Seaport, NYC, NY
It's a good thing FDC keeps such good picture archives. Below are the man-made threads you'll see Murray jamming in most often, arranged by Murr-O-Meter rating and referenced in reverse chronological order. Yes, it's okay to be scared now.
These are the normal ones, folks. They won't hurt you and they're good with children.
The light blue shirt: Standard, normal blue shirt, the kind you'd wear to work with Dockers and a pair of Comfortable ShoesŪ.
The Dark Blue Shirt: Similar to the above, but perhaps not as flashy.
The Ever-Popular Brown Shirt: Sorta understated, and certainly not as daring as its 3-rated orange cousin.
The Purple-ish Shirt: This one's a borderline 2, so it makes a nice segue into the next category.
These are generally okay too, unless you look at them for too long. The bright colors might burn your retinae.
The Very Red Shirt: It's a 3 because it looks like it might be made of odd fabric, plus . . . it's very red.
The Orange Shirts: See the color of the links and the header pictures on this site? They're just about that color orange. That's what keeps them out of the docile "1" category and vaults them fully into the ranks of the fiesty "3"s.
It's usually difficult to distinguish a Category Three shirt from a Category Five shirt, unless it's plaid.
The Fuscia Shirt: This shirt is very bright and is distinguishable from a Category Three because it appears to be made of a rather interesting fabric. An über-polyester of some sort, perhaps.
The Orange Striped Shirt: A close relative of the normal Orange Shirts, this one has a white line running vertically down it on either side:
The Plaid Shirt fits easily into the Category Five group because, well, it's plaid.
Category Seven has been reserved solely for floral prints, and it seems there's only one such shirt in the collection:
The Every Color Ever Visualized Shirt: Yes, every color in the visible spectrum exists somewhere on this shirt. Keep in mind, the human eye is only able to distinguish something on the order of 2 million distinct colors, however, so we're not exactly sure if the name is accurate.
The Brown Diamond Shirt: This shirt is definitely the most-worn of the collection. I think it's perfectly symmetrical.
The Backgammon Shirt: Either that or chess.
The Black & White Checkered Shirt: pretty self-explanitory. The black parts of the shirt seem to be overtaking the white parts, though.
The Unknown Pattern Shirt: I'm unable to discern what's going on here.
Category Elevens are the ones you gotta look out for. Don't worry, you'll know one when you see one.
The Horse Shirt: Another popular, though seemingly retired shirt. Definitely an Eleven.
The Interference Shirt: Looks sorta like Channel 67 at 3AM in a rainstorm. Perhaps made of something of extraterrestrial origin.
The Red Patterned Stripey Thing Shirt: The name pretty much says it all. This shirt was only worn once.
Photo Credit: Caroline Moore
